Beetlejuice and Lydia
by Evolution In The Dark
Summary: My take on how Beetlejuice and Lydia became friends after the wedding incident.
1. Chapter 1

**Six months later…**

Winter Raven, Connecticut; a small, plain, slow, quiet, town…the perfect place for a family…a family who was anything but normal.

Lydia is sat in the darkness of her bedroom just like she always does after school and plays a record of sad classical music….She is utterly alone.

Barbara and Adam Maitland, a young ghostly couple, stood as the only model of a perfect marriage. They were always there to greet Lydia when she cam home from school, always there to give warm hugs, a listening ear, food, and friendship….but they are not inside the house, they have been with Juno, their ghostly case worker.

Charles, Lydia's father, continued his long distance business relationship with his boss Max C. Dean. The boss decided to keep Charles on board despite the corny ideas and the damaged nerves only because he still manages to produce the company more money than younger newcomers.

Delia, Lydia's step-mother, was no longer a lost cause, but even though there were times that the red head would become pre-occupied in her work of becoming a famous artist, there had been even more times that she would sit and place time for her Step-daughter. Thesculptures were still odd and frightfully scary, but still said to be in Lydia's own kind words "Too ahead for it's time."

Lydia hated her life because it just wasn't dark enough, it just wasn't the same without the presents of her ghostly friends, and the mystified essence of …. "Magic." She sighed heavily as laid her head on her desk and cried.

"Whatcha cryin' for ?" a voice came from out of nowhere.

Lydia raised her tearful face and looked around the room.

"Hey…" whistled for her attention as he waved is hand "down here."

Lydia's eye's widened as she gazed upon a familiar ghostly man…a gross ghostly man, who almost became her husband.

His miniature form stood on Lydia's desk, leaning oh so casually against a pencil. "Long time, no see Babes." His name is….

"Beetlejuice !" Lydia announced out of shock, then quickly covered her own mouth in remembrance from what happened the last time.

"Come on Babes, say it two more times." he grinned.

"No." She protested. "Get off my desk, and leave me alone."

Beeteljuice pointed up to her "Don't be that way with me…I should be the one crying, not you." He left form the pencil to pace around her desk "Not only did you back out of our marriage agreement; I almost got swallowed by a sandworm, Juno was up my ass twenty-four-seven, and I've been sentenced by the court to this miniature state, and I gotta tell ya….it _really_ sucks."

Lydia's face fell "I'm sorry."

"Sorry ?" Beetlejuice was taken aback.

"I'm sorry about the sandworm thing, but I can't marry you." She exclaimed.

"Too late." Beetlejuice grinned. Lydia raised a confused brow as he pointed to his ring, which was till on her finger. "How do you think I was able to come back here…can't leave here without the ring Babe."

Lydia never removed it, she didn't know why…she didn't even try, but she remembered something "The ceremony wasn't finished, so we're not married."

Beetlejuice scratched his head "The court's are still trying to determine that…but for now you, still have my ring, which, make's us bound."

"So you'll be stuck with me as long as I have this." Lydia pointed to the ring.

"Thaat's…riiiight." He sang, then grinned "It's looks good on you."

Lydia sighed "Well you can't stay on my desk, I have to do my homework."

Beetlejuice pointed to her notebook and asked sarcastically "Do you plan to write your homework with a pencil like _normal _people, or are going to continue to use tears ?"

Lydia sighed. "Do you see anywhere you would like to rest ?"

"The bed." He grinned while pointing toward Lydia's bed.

Lydia knew Beetlejuice is a pervert. "No." She went into her closet, and pulled a childhood item "You can stay in here."

It's a pink colored house.

Beetlejuice looked up with an insulted gaze "You want me to stay in a gay bar ?"

"It's a dollhouse." Lydia spat. Then she scooped Beetlejuice in her hand, carried him gently, and placed him inside.

Beetlejuice walked around looking at the light pink colored plastic walls decorated with hot pink roses, he admired the sticker plastered food that's smeared on the plastic doll table, and he sat on the hard pink sofa. "Unbelievable." He muttered. Then he noticed an almost pleasing thing….a doll, a Barbie-like doll sitting across from him, He walked over and peeked up it's dress. He looked up at Lydia with an annoyed gaze "Would it kill 'em to make the thing atomically correct ?"

Lydia rolled her eyes, then left to go back to her desk, and when she sat down…

He was waiting for her. "Whatcha workin' on ?" Beeteljuice asked as he floated over an open book.

"Math." Lydia replied gravely, knowing it's not her best subject. "I'm going to fail this test, I forgot my study notes and calculator at school, and the test is Monday."

"Hmmm…." Beetlejuice hummed in thought, then an idea. He used his ghostly magic to produce a large old device which was used by great mathematicians.

Lydia gazed upon the strange thing "I can't play beads BJ, I have to study." cleared her throat "You don't mind if I call you BJ, do you ?"

Beetlejuice smiled "Nah…I like it." then pointed to the old device "That's not a bead game, it's an abacus."

"A what ?" Lydia frowned.

"It's like an old school calculator…" He explained. "maybe it can help you."

"How about a new school calculator ?" Lydia asked.

Beetlejuice smirked "Look….my power is limited while I'm at my mini-state, if you want the goods, say my name three times."

Lydia wasn't buying it "No."

"Ok then, abacus it is." Beetlejuice replied.

Lydia sighed….and sighed…and sighed some more as she studied the long hard way; all her hard work, all the pre-paring for this test was left at school, she hasn't been graded a 'C' since she met Adam Maitland, a ghostly man with a natural gift for math. She looked over to Beetlejuice, who was eating a piece of toast she given to him as she got a snack.

"BJ…." He looked to her. "What if a asked you to get my study notes for me ?"

"You'll have to say my name three times." He sang in response.

Lydia knew there was a price for the last favor she asked of him. "What do you want in return ?"

"I would like something…" Beetlejuice held a toothy grin, then he shrugged his shoulders "I'll take whatever you think I should have."

"The ball's in my court, I decide your reward ?" she asked.

Beetlejuice nodded "That's right Babe."

Lydia took a breath "Beetlejuice." she became scared, but continued "Beetlejuice." She expects him to kill her, but hopes if he does…he'll do it quick "Beetlejuice."

He showed a wide devil smile "It's show time." then he appeared in normal size, wearing a black and white striped suit….it looked good on him.

Lydia closed her eyes as Beetlejuice leaned closer to her, he whispered in her ear "Aren't you going to tell me where your notes are in school ?"

She didn't open her eyes "one place could be my locker, number fourteen on the first floor, or…in the study area, room 24, in my desk with my name on the desk, on the second floor."

"Ok that'll be easy." Beetlejuice claimed.

Lydia looked up at him "Please don't scare my Dad or anything."

Beetlejuice flashed a toothy devil smirk as he faded away.

* * *

**Stay tuned for chapter 2.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Beetlejuice's POV

Not only do I have to get her stupid math notes, but she calls the shots on the reward. Hmmm….I suppose I don't have to, but I'm curious …fuck, who I'm a kidding, I got suckered, that's not like me….fuck. Oh well, it's better than being in Juno's office, the voice of that old bat is still fresh in my head…a couple of shots of whiskey will cure that….nah, fuck the shots, I need a whole pitcher of whiskey to cure it.

(Beetlejuice using Lydia's voice to repeat what she asked him earlier.) "Please don't scare my Dad or anything."

I turned into a big snake, took him over a balcony, then dropped 'em, and he didn't move out…wow, I gotta give it to ole Chuck…he's got some balls.

* * *

**Miss Shannon's School for Girls.**

Beetlejuice chose to be in his invisible form as he wondered the halls, then he noticed the school directory. "Five classrooms on the first floor, five on the second."

He started by looking inside Lydia's locker…found nothing but crimson lip gloss, a black umbrella, scuffed gym shoes, and… "Oh yeah…I forgot breather chicks still have this problem." a box of tampons.

He moved on to the Study Area and looked inside Lydia's desk….found her 'new school calculator' and gazed at it. "Damn gizmo." and placed it in his pocket.

Then Beetlejuice roamed the hall, and decided to check the one place that was not on Lydia's search list "Math notes gotta be in a math room." he mumbled in thought.

He fazed through the door, found Lydia's desk, and looked inside….

**Back in Lydia's room**

"Hey Babes…" Beetlejuice called as he suddenly appeared. "I found your calculator and something else…"

"My math notes ?" Lydia rose from her chair.

Beetlejuice shook his head "Nope." and showed her a hair ribbon "You may keep pink dollhouses in your closet, but I know you don't wear pink hair bows." He placed it in her hand "I found it inside your desk."

"Claire Brewster." Lydia proclaimed. "She took my notes from the study area."

Beetlejuice made a sound like a game show buzzer when she said a wrong answer "AnH wrong." then cracked his knuckles "I checked the one place that wasn't on your list…" Lydia raised a brow as he continued "I went in the math room."

Lydia held a small smile as he gave her the calculator "Thanks BJ." then held her face in thought "I thought about your reward and…"

He held his hands defensively "Whoa…the job's not done, I can get your notes back from this Claire chick, all I gotta know is what she looks like."

Lydia held a hesitant stance "I would like that but…"

"But what ?" He crossed his arms.

"I don't want you to scare, or kill her or anything." she finished off.

Beetlejuice stood with an impatient stance "Look…I'm not going to scare or kill anyone alright, so just relax."

Lydia closed her eyes, she couldn't believe what she was going to say next "Ok BJ." She opened her bedroom window and pointed to a mansion "Claire lives there, she's a spoiled rotten blonde, and the only child.

He faded away from Lydia's side in pursuit of Claire's estate.

**The Brewster Mansion**

Beetlejuice faded to an invisible form while exploring Claire's Mansion. "Girl sure is livin' it up." He found a door with the word 'Library' written on a gold panel. "It's gotta be in there." But nothing was in there, or at least not Lydia's math notes, but Beetlejuice did find the staff taking badly about the family somewhat entertaining.

He moved on to Claire's bedroom, and found her brushing her long blonde hair as she sat in front of the mirror. "Lydia asked me not to scare her but she didn't say anything about not playing mind games."

Claire turned away from the mirror to grab a pink hair ribbon, but unknown to her, Beetlejuice morphed himself in the mirror in her likeness.

Claire smiled in the mirror, showing perfect white straight teeth….Beetlejuice mimicked her.

Claire smoothed pink lip gloss on her lips, and puckered a kiss….so did he.

"You are amazingly beautiful Claire Brewster." She told herself.

"Like, I know." She replied to her own compliment with a smile.

Then Claire turned to see the other side of her face….so did he, but had a really big puss filled pimple on the nose. "Ahhhh !" and screamed crying as she ran out the room.

Beetlejuice Chuckled "Now _that's_ entertainment." and morphed back to normal, then he noticed Lydia's math notes on top of Claire's bed. "I'll be taking this, thank you." and left the mansion.

**Return to Lydia's room**

"Tad da…" Beetlejuice sang as he appeared out of nowhere, holding Lydia's math notes. He gave them to her.

"Thank you BJ." She examined the pages….everything seem to be intact. "I really needed these notes, the Maitland and I worked really hard on this, thank you."

"Yeah, yeah." He replied as he waited for his…

"I'm sure you're wondering about your reward." Lydia stated.

Beetlejuice crossed his arms "Yes I am, and…." swug out an arm, holding out a open hand.

Lydia walked over, and placed a ring in his palm. "I want you to have it."

His facial expression changed as he stared at the ring, Beetlejuice looked up at her with a sorrowed frown "Why ?"

"Since I have something precious of yours…" Lydia held up her hand for him to see his ring on her finger. "I'm giving something precious of mine." She held his hand with her ring in his palm "It belonged to my mother, they gave to me on the day she pasted away."

Beetlejuice was taken aback "Wow Lyds, I'm…I'm…" he regained his composer "Why me ?"

Lydia held a small smile "I don't think you're that bad of a guy and…"

"We'll don't ruin my rep by sayin' that to anyone else." He interrupted.

"And…" She continued "I would like us to maybe be friends."

Beetlejuice was taken aback even more so "You wanta be friends ?"

She shook her head yes.

"With me ?…" He rose a brow.

She shook her head 'yes' again.

Beetlejuice formed a grin. "It's your funeral."

Lydia smiled "Well ok then, it's official…we're friends." then held her hand out for him to shake it.

"And the rings are a symbol of friendship, is that it ?" He questioned.

"Yes."

Beetlejuice shrugged his shoulders. "Oh why the hell not." and shook her hand.

Later that night, Beetlejuice laid on the hard sufface of a plastic couch inside the dollhouse deep in thought…

"_She wants to be my friend."_

"_Of course she does….I'm the ghost with the most, who wouldn't want to be friends with me ?" _

"_But…."_

"_She's the only one who actually offered."_

Beetlejuice gazed at the ring she gave him.

"_It seems like a sincere offer, she gave me her mom's ring."_

He placed the ring in a black ring box, then put it back in his pocket.

"_Maybe it won't be so bad….I always wondered what it was like to have a friend, now is my chance to have one."_

* * *

Stay tuned for chapter 3.


	3. Chapter 3

**Saturday **

Beetlejuice slept in the dollhouse, he woke from the crisp mid-morning air blowing through Lydia's bedroom window. "Ohhh…" He groaned as he stretched his body.

He turned to look out the window….it seems like a nice sunny day out, then he turned to the Barbie-like doll laying next to him "Goood morning beautiful."

The doll just laid there.

He looked up the doll's dress…it's still wasn't atomically correct. He looked up at the doll. "We're not going to have a good relationship this way."

The doll just laid there.

Beetlejuice looked over and noticed Lydia was still asleep on her bed, then he looked back over to the doll. "It's been nice but…I gotta go hang with a _real _person now."

He disappeared from the dollhouse and re-appeared next to Lydia's alarm clock. "Yo Lyds !"

Lydia tossed around on the pillows. "Nooo."

"Hey !"

Lydia tossed again, moaning in sleepiness. "I don't wanna."

"Lyds !"

She turned sharp on her pillows to hit the snooze button on her alarm clock, but instead she hit…

"Hey damn it !"

Lydia snapped fully awake by his yell, and saw her new ghostly friend stand by the clock. "Oh, I'm sorry BJ."

Beetlejuice gave her a sarcastic grin "So do you hit all your friends, or is it just me ?"

"I said I'm sorry, what do you want me to do ?"

He pucker his lips "Gimme a kiss."

Lydia kissed the back of her thumb and smeared it on Beetlejuice's face.

"Lame."

She scooped him her hand, left her room to go inside the bathroom.

"Oh…gonna give a bath show huh, now that's more like it."

She plugged the drain of the sink, ran warm water in the sink, and squeezed some liquid soap in the water.

Beetlejuice leaned over the sink to look at the sudsy water. "Sink show…ok, I accept."

"Nooo." Lydia sang, "You're going to get a bath." then used her fingers to flick him in the water.

He emerged from the water. "Hey damn it !"

Lydia used her hands to rub Beetlejuice into the suds. She smelled the scented suds with a smile.

He smelled the scented suds, and it smells good but…"Lyds…"

"Yeah."

He sniffed his wet coat "Why do I smell like apples ?"

Lydia looked at the bottle on the self and realized the her soap and her dad's soap were next to each other. "I grabbed the wrong one." She showed Beetlejuice the soap bottle she meant to use…it's a men's soap bottle with a picture of a large snowy mountain on it.

"It' would've been nice for me to smell like a man, but nooo, instead I smell like…like…fruit." plunged both fist the water, creating a large splash. "I smell like a fuckin' fruit cake man !" He rolled his eyes "Oh I can just _hear_ the guys at the bar." Then held a sarcastic look. "Thanks a lot Lyds."

She picked him up, walked back to her room, sat him on the desk, and gave him a face towel to dry off. "It's my turn to wash up, you stay here."

"And do what ?"

She pick him up with the face cloth, placed him inside the dollhouse, and walked out of the room.

Beetlejuice look over at the doll "Oh…it you." He walked over towards the doll while drying himself off. "Did you miss me ?"

The doll just laid there.

"No huh." then sneered a look. "Figures."

He smelled himself…he smells like freshly cut green apples.

"Great."

He laid next to the doll, looking over at it. "So baby, what you wanna do ?"

The doll just laid there.

"yeah…I know…." He let out a heavy sigh. "I smell like a fruit cake, but make no mistake…" showing a toothy grin. "I only like chicks."

Lydia walked into the room, fully dressed, wearing a long black dress.

"Hey !" Beetlejuice shouted for her attention.

She turned to him, leaning down to his level. "Are you hungry ?"

"No more toast."

She snickered a small laugh. "I'm making waffles."

Beetlejuice shot up from the doll he sat besides with a wide smile. "Oh boy !"

Lydia scooped him in her hand and started headed downstairs for the kitchen. She sat Beetlejuice on the kitchen counter, and turned heading toward the freezer.

"Oh boy, oh boy…waffles !" He cheered.

She walked toward the toaster holding a box.

"What the hell is that ?" He pointed to the box.

Lydia held it for him to see. "Eggo Waffles." then pulled one out the box. "See."

Beetlejuice was taken aback. "They make already made waffles ?" then waved a casual hand. "Get outta here."

Lydia placed the waffle into the toaster. "You act like you never been to the grocery store."

"Oh I've been to the store…" He replied, then pointed to the toaster "but I've never heard of no frozen ass waffles before."

The waffles popped out of the toaster, nice and golden brown. Lydia took them out, put them on a plate; then smeared butter, cut it into pieces, and put maple syrup on it.

Beetlejuice was drooling at the waffles, they really looked good.

She used a fork to pick up a piece for him to eat.

He placed his hands behind his back, leaned forward, and started eating.

Lydia raised a curious brow. "Why are you eating like that ?"

He turned over with a sneered look "Because if I get sticky, lord knows what other kind of fruit cake soap you'll wash me up with."

As they ate, Lydia brought up a very interesting subject. "Are you able to transform into anything ?"

Beetlejuice smirked at her. "I'm the ghost with the most, I can do anything, but you know the rules…" holding up three fingers "three times."

Lydia sighed, but this simple thing she was about to ask, would test the waters of friendship. "I would like to invite you go to the movies today."

He held a skeptical look. "It's a chick flick, isn't it ?"

"No BJ…it's a horror film, it's called 'Fright Night Two'."

Beetlejuice didn't mind seeing a movie, in fact, that's what he watched on lazy days. "Sure why not."

"But there's a catch." Lydia stated.

He rolled his eyes. "O-kay…what is it ?"

She knew this was pushing it, but went for it anyway. "You have to transform into a teenage girl."

Beetlejuice was taken aback. "What ?" holding his hands defensively "Not only do I get to _smell _like a fruit cake, I have to _be_ one too ?"

"Let me explain."

He fanned his hand in a sarcastic glide. "Well go on, out with it."

Lydia sighed. "There's two girls in school, they are the only ones who are nice to me, and they even helped me study for some test. They invited me to the movies, and I said I would go."

"And do they know you're planning on bringin' a _friend_."

Lydia showed a small smile. "They said I could."

Beetlejuice sighed. "I can change into anything, but being a cunt is a different story."

"I knew I was pushing it."

He leaned to her. "Look, Babe….I would love to see some Living Realm cinema, but not like that ok. You just go with your school friends, I'll be here waiting."

Lydia showed a small smile. "Thanks BJ." then she looked over to him "Don't scare my Dad."

"Yeah, yeah…I know."

**2pm, Movie House.**

Lydia sat across from the movies waiting on her friends.

"Hi Lydia." waved a short read head, wearing coke bottle glasses.

Lydia smiled. "Oh hi, Prudence."

"Lydia…" called a tall girl with long brown hair, and braces. "I'm glad you decided to join us."

"Thank you Bertha."

"Where you able to bring a friend ?" asked Prudence.

Lydia stalled in thought. "Well I asked and she's…she's"

"She's standin' right behind ya."

They all turned to the voice…A girl who stood a little shorter than Bertha. She has pale skin, blonde pony tail, wearing a white blouse with a black embroidered beetle stitched on the side, long black skirt, and black combat boots. She extended her hand to shake. "I'm Betty."

Prudence smiled as she shook her hand. "Hi Betty."

Then Betty held a hand for Bertha to shake, but was taken aback by Betty's ghostly look…but even though she was creeping out, she shook Betty's hand to be polite.

"Let's go to the movies !" Prudence cheered.

Inside the movie lobby, Bertha and Prudence waited in line for snacks, while Betty leaned against a pinball table.

Lydia leaned beside her and whispered. "Is it really you BJ ?"

"No, it's Marilyn Monroe."

She sneered at her ghostly friend. "Smart ass."

Betty grinned. "Thank you…" rubbing her fingers on herself "I _do_ try."

"Ready for the show ?" Prudence asked with a hand full of snacks as she approached them.

As they walked toward the movie door, Lydia also notice something about Beetlejuice…as Betty, she didn't have dark black circles around her eyes. "It looks good on you." Lydia whispered.

Betty turned to her. "What ?"

"My plum color eye shadow."

Betty pointed to her. "Don't start with me."

"And my crimson lip gloss."

Betty snorted in response.

Lydia pointed to her black skirt. "What do you have under there anyway ?"

Betty raised a brow "Would you like me to _show_ you ?"

Lydia held her hands up defensively. "No."

"Ok then…" Betty snorted "don't ask."

Lydia pointed to her chest. "Are those real ?"

"What'd I say." Betty reminded.

"Never mind."

Betty nodded. "Ok then."

During the movie, Betty sat and watched the characters…they screamed through a blood filled hospital, running away from a vampire and a crazy mental patient who carried a gun.

"This movie sucks." Betty complained.

"Shh…" The sound came from Lydia.

Betty looked over, and saw that she's fully into the movie. "I can't believe she's buying this crap." she mumbled. "The acting sucks, the story makes no since, and the blood don't look real." leaning back in her chair "This blows."

Prudence tapped Betty on the shoulder, gaining her attention, and whispered. "Would you like some popcorn ?"

Betty grabbed a fist full of popcorn and shoved it into her mouth.

"Take your time Betty…" Prudence whispered. "I don't know CPR, I don't want you to choke."

'_What difference does it make, I'm already dead.' _Betty thought, but instead said "I'll try to remember that, thanks."

**Ice cream shop.**

After the movies, The gang sat at the ice cream shop.

"What did you think of the movie Betty ?" asked Prudence.

Betty gazed in thought. "It was…It was…"

"Betty." Lydia whispered.

"It was very _interesting_." Betty replied.

Prudence smiled. "What your favorite part ?"

"The ending." Betty grinned.

Prudence giggled. "Yeah, I didn't care for the movie either."

"Well, well…look who the cat dragged in."

They looked up at Claire Brewster.

"Like, forget what I said…not even a mangled cat would touch either of you to drag you anywhere."

"Why would it brother doing anything with us, when it's too busy scratching your face ?" Betty replied.

Prudence and Lydia chuckled.

Claire held a deep glare to Betty. "I have you know that my face is -"

"The best money can buy, yes I know…" Betty finished for her, then pointed "Not even God would touch you to create natural beauty, so as soon as you were born, you had immediate plastic surgery." Then Betty used her finger in a way of cutting scissors to Claire's nose "Snip, snip."

Claire held her breath and walked away.

"Bitch." Betty sneered.

Prudence smiled in awe. "Wow Betty, what a way to get rid of Claire."

Bertha sighed as Claire walked down the street.

"Yeah Betty, that was good." Lydia smiled.

**Back at the Deetz home.**

Lydia sat at her desk studying over her math notes.

Beetlejuice, in his normal manly state appeared, sat on a pen, looking at her write.

"Oh, hi BJ, what's up ?"

He looked at her. "Nothing…nothing at all, I'm just being nosey."

Lydia blushed at him. "Thanks for coming today, it was fun."

"Sure I guess."

Lydia leaned to her miniature ghostly friend. "No really, and don't worry…I won't tell anyone about your _other_ personality." She removed herself from the desk, and heading to the bed. "Goodnight Beej."

"Goodnight Lyds."

Beetlejuice disappeared from the desk, and re-appeared inside the dollhouse. "Oh honey…I'm home." walking toward the Barbie-like doll.

He sat next to it. "Baby…I had one hell of a day." stroking it's face "How was your day ?"

The doll just laid there.

"Oh, you too huh."

He removed his jacket, and laid next to the doll. "Things will get better baby."

* * *

**Stay tuned for chapter 4.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sunday**

Beetlejuice woke up from the dollhouse couch. "Oww shit…" looking back at it's hard plastic pillows "damn thing's hurting my back."

He turned over to the barbie-like doll. "Hello beautiful." then stood up, taking a long stretch "Oooo !" the bones cracked all over his body "That's better."

Beetlejuice looked up the dolls dress…it's still not atomically correct.

"How long are you goina hold out on me ?"

The doll just laid there.

"Oh…it's like that huh."

He looked over to Lydia, who sat studying at her desk.

Beetlejuice turned to the doll and kissed it's cheek. "I gotta go baby…" stroking it's hair "don't be mad when I get back…" and heavily sighed "I hate it when we fight."

Beetlejuice disappeared from the dollhouse and re-appeared on Lydia's desk. He looked at her facial expression…she seems stressed out.

"Hey Babes, what's the matter ?"

She slammed her pencil on the note book. "I _hate_ math !"

He grinned, looking at the paper. "C'mon, it can't be that…" gazing at the problems more closely, it looked like rocket science to him. "shit." pointing to the paper. "What kind of math is this ?!"

"Algebra."

Beetlejuice showed a toothy grin. "I'm good with cotton bras, satin, and lace bras, but algebra…I never took off one of those."

Lydia frowned. "Bee-Jay !"

"What…whaat ?!" He held his hands defensively.

Lydia still frowned.

"Oh, get a since of humor."

Lydia sighed, and continued writing. She looked over to her ghostly friend. "I really want to pass this math test."

He walked over and stroked her finger. "You'll do fine Babes, just don't stress out…" shrugging his shoulders "Why don't you take a break for awhile."

Lydia nodded. "Good idea." and released a heavy breath as she left from the chair, then she scooped Beetlejuice in her hand and headed for the bathroom.

She plugged the drain and filled it with warm water, then she reached for the soap.

"What I'm I going to smell like today ?" Beetlejuice asked in a sarcastic tone.

Lydia smirked. "Will you re-lax, I have the men soap this time." she mixed the soap with the water, and flicked him in.

He emerged from the suds. "Hey damn it !" then floated on his back.

"How's the water ?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's great…" keeping his sarcastic tone "c'mon Babes, hop in."

Lydia rolled her eyes, then realized something about the bottle she held in her hand. "Oosp."

Beetlejuice rose up from the water. "Oosp…what do you mean oosp ?" He smelled his wet jacket. "What the hell…" sniffing again. "It smells like…it smells like…" he looked at her with a frown. "cotton candy."

Lydia showed him a dark green soap bottle with a picture of a pink cotton candy cone.

"Great." He growled.

Delia hollered from downstairs. "Lydia…I'm back."

Lydia cracked open the bathroom door. "I'm in the bathroom, I'll be down shortly."

"Don't rush, take your time." Delia replied.

Beetlejuice sneered a look at Lydia. "I thought you didn't like her."

"Delia's not that bad of a Step-mother…she keeps my Dad happy."

He raised a skeptical brow. "_She _can keep ole Chuck happy ?"

Lydia shook her head.

Beetlejuice shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever floats his boat."

She scooped her ghostly friend out of the water, and placed a face cloth around his body; then they went back to her room, and placed him inside the dollhouse.

"It's my turn to wash up." Lydia grabbed a dress out of the closet, then turned to him. "Please try…"

"Don't scare the Step-mom…I know."

Lydia left the room.

Beetlejuice walked toward the doll. "Are you still mad at me baby ?"

The doll just laid there.

"Yeah, I know…" He stroking the doll's hair "I'm just tryin' to get by too."

**Later that afternoon.**

Lydia went to study at Prudence's house, while Beetlejuice stayed at home with…

"Let's see what that red head is up to."

Delia.

Beetlejuice float downstairs in his invisible form, looking around the house, he noticed an interesting art affect displayed in the gallery.

"She still has those."

It's the two sculptures he used to hold Delia and Charles captive while trying to wed Lydia. Then he turned and noticed something else.

"Wow." He smiled in awe.

It's Delia's sculpture of him in his snake-like form…the image is so perfect, it almost looks real.

"Not bad…" pointing to it. "I like it…" then grinned in pride as he walked away. "woman know a good thing when she sees one."

Delia was sitting on the couch talking to Chuck on the phone. "How long is the delay ?"

She stood up from the couch, walking toward the rest base of the phone. "Ok…I love you too, bye." and sat the phone on the charger.

Lydia walked in the door, her hands had dirt all over them.

Delia was taken aback. "What happened to you ?"

"My bike's back tier has a flat, and I tried to fix it." She looked around the room "Where's Dad ?"

"I just got the phone with him, the train from New York will be delayed for an hour or so."

This was no big deal, the train always had some sort of delay on a Sunday. Lydia looked on her wrist watch…it's 6: 30pm. The last time her Dad came home from a delay it was 8:30, 9 o'clock, which was ok.

"Get washed up for dinner, I made meat loaf."

Lydia held a small smile, her Step-mother's cooking was not the best in the world but still… "I ate dinner over Prudence's house."

"What they have ?"

Prudence's family were strict vegetarians, but it was nice to try something different. "Fried veggie Stromboli's."

Delia smiled. "Hmm…sound good." then poured a glass of wine "Well will you at least join me for desert ?"

Lydia's Step-mother cooked, but never baked. "What's for desert ?"

"Strawberry-chocolate cheese cake."

She loves sweets. "Ok."

"Come down in about an hour."

Lydia went upstairs to her room, and there waiting for her is a ghostly friend.

"Hello Babes."

She smiled. "Hi BJ."

"I fixed that flat for you."

Lydia looked over to him with a surprised look. "You did ?"

He grinned. "Well the big test is tomorrow, and ole Chuck is goin' be too tired to fix it for ya."

"Thank you." Then she sneered a look at him. "You want a reward, don't you ?"

He grinned. "Oh, how nice of you."

Lydia kissed the back of her thumb and smeared it on his cheek.

"Lame."

She released a small giggle.

"Don't you wanna hear what I _really_ want ?"

Lydia wasn't sure what to think, she held a skeptical look, but decided to hear him out. "Ok, I'll bite…what is it ?"

Beetlejuice grinned. "I overheard something about a cheese cake, do you think I could…"

She smiled. "I'll give you a big slice."

He was taken aback. "Not _too_ big…" patting his stomach "I'm uh…trying to watch my figure."

Lydia giggled.

**One O-clock Monday morning**

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice !"

Beetlejuice appeared at his full normal size, snapping out from snoring. "What the hell ?" He notice Lydia crying. "What's the matter Babes ?"

She continued crying.

"It's one in the morning girl…If you're worried about acing that math test, don't worry…you're golden."

She looked up at him with tearful eyes.

Beetlejuice knew it was more that a test, that made her this upset. "Tell me what's wrong."

Lydia blew her nose. "I'm worried about Dad; he didn't come home last night, the train is _still _delayed, and I'm worried."

"Oh…"

She looked to her ghostly friend. "Please BJ…please help me."

"How do you want me to do that ?"

She wiped a tear away from her face. "I would feel much better if you could find my Dad and keep him company."

"Why is the train delayed ?" Beetlejuice looked at all four of his wrist watches "It should've been this long."

Lydia blew her nose. "Delia told me the train became de-railed near the woods." she looked to him with teary eyes.

He could never stand a crying woman. "Ok, I'll do it." and disappeared from her side.

**Winter Raven Train Station.**

Beetlejuice re-appeared on the side of the train platform labeled 'Arrivals'. He bend down to examine something completely new to him.

"These tracks are made from magnets."

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a Netherworld nickel, then tossed it on the magnet tracks…it stayed firmly in place.

"If the train didn't work, then it wouldn't stick."

He grabbed the nickel and studied the train schedule.

"Oh yeah…train 14, Chuck should've been here hours ago."

Beetlejuice floated in his invisible form to check out the control tower.

"What the hell ?!"

In his past life, he use to work, actually work in a control tower of a train station. He was looking for something in the lines of a mores code machine, a cage for the carrier pigeon, and a log sheet; but instead he found…

"Flashy gizmos."

He carefully studied the complicated modern equipment.

"What are they trying to do, manage trains, or launch space rockets ?!"

Beetlejuice only modern in two thing in the world of technology…using the phone to call for pizza or some special lady entertainment, and watching television. He looked over the counter and noticed one piece of familiar equipment…a hand held two way radio. Beetlejuice has sat in the backseat of Netherworld police cars several times, and seen them use the device.

He picked up the radio. "Train 14, 14 come in…over."

Nobody responded.

Beetlejuice clicked on the computer to look for the train, but the system is too technical for him.

"Damn Gizmos."

He floated to the ticket window and grabbed a map with train 14's route, studied it, and pursued course.

**Train 14**

Beetlejuice stayed to remain in his invisible form upon entering the train. He started by checking on Lydia's Dad…he's slouched asleep in a window seat, and the businessman next to him is also asleep.

Next he floated down the aisle way toward the control room…most of the businessmen where sleeping, the other where staring and typing on thin device with a bright colored screen.

'_That's a weird lookin' typewriter.' _He thought, then shook his head as he studied the screen. _"What will they think of next ?"_

Beetlejuice fazed through the control room door, and saw…

"Where _is_ the bastard ?"

The Conductor wasn't there.

Instead, he noticed something else…the controls, and they appeared to be ok.

"If there _was_ something wrong, then these light would be flashin' red." He placed his hands on his hips. "There's nothing wrong, so why is it here ?!"

Beetlejuice looked out the window and noticed the Conductor approach the train with two other guys holding rifles. He stayed in invisible form to spy on the three.

"We're goina clean house." Said one guy.

The other guy smiled as he sang. "Money, money, money…mon-ney."

"Mon-ney." the one finished off.

Beetlejuice could smell their strong whiskey infested breath, and became envious in thought. _'Can I have some of what you been drinkin' pal.'_

"Please don't hurt anyone, I just want to pay back the loan." pleaded the Conductor.

The guy smiled at him. "Don't worry buddy…If everyone _co-op-per-rates_, then it'll be nice and clean."

Beetlejuice played that con several times in his past life and after-life, he knew by the look in their eyes that they do this fun, and someone's going die. He wondered in thought…_'So they wanna rob a train huh…'_

He looked over to the conductor. _'I'll need him to drive the train.' _then sneered a look to the robbers. _'Them, I don't.'_

Beetlejuice used the dark shadows of the forest to grab the Conductor, and appeared morphed as the Conductor.

(Beetlejuice using the Conductor's voice.) "Before you guys rob the business guys, I think you should start with the safe."

The guy turned to him. "Safe…you didn't tell us about no safe !"

"During all the ruckus, I forgot."

"How much ?" The other guy asked.

"More than $ 75,000,000."

The guy cheered a smile. "Woohoo dog…Jackpot !"

Beetlejuice disguised as the Conductor escorted the robbers to the backdoor of the cargo hold and opened it. "Right here fellas."

"It might be a trap, you go in first !" The guy demanded, poking the rifle onto Beetlejuice's back.

He walked in and turned on the lights of the cargo hold. The robbers walked in to view upon a large walk-in black safe with a silver skull on it.

As Beetlejuice opened the safe door, the lights inside the safe automatically turn on. Green money, wall to wall stood on selves inside the safe, and…

"Gold !" Cheered the other robber.

The robber patted the Conductor on the back. "We'll this is great…" then looked him in the eye. "You know of course, we are a greedy bunch of bastards, and we're _still _going to rob the passengers."

Beetlejuice still in disguise "Go ahead be greedy…" grinning as he held out an arm for the robbers to walk inside. "be my guest."

The door to the safe remained open as the robbers took the money, feeding the hunger of greed, then one noticed something…

"Hey…" looking at the picture of where a dead United States president should be. "The money has some other guys face on it."

The other robber stuffing the bag. "The Boss said if it's money from another country, it's ok…businessmen tend to carry different currency."

"But…" showing his partner the money.

They both looked at a unfamiliar money, and stared into the picture of a unfamiliar face….a young depressed looking man, wearing a crown.

The robber read aloud words scripted on the bottom of a five hundred dollar bill.

"Governmental Treasury Union of The Netherworld."

The robbers looked up, and the Conductor was nowhere to be found, but instead they gazed upon a deathly looking person, wearing a police uniform.

"Freeze, N.W.P.D. !" shouted a man who had a bullet hole in his skull. "You're under arrest for grand theft !"

The robber were stunned as the exited the train, looking at their new surroundings.

"They dead !" The robber shouted to his partner, as they walked down the train station hall. "All 'em…DEAD !!"

**Meanwhile back in the living realm…**

Beetlejuice opened strong smelling salt in the Conductor's nose.

The conductor awoke and found himself sitting in the control room chair.

"Hey Buddy." Beetlejuice called, gaining his attention.

The conductor pointed. "You're not suppose to.."

Beetlejuice held a tight grip around his mouth, "There's a lot of things we're _not_ suppose to do, but…we do them, don't we ?" holding a tighter grip "Like for instance…I'm _not _suppose to break your fuckin' neck, but I will, if you don't drive this train."

The Conductor muffled in Beetlejuice's hand.

"Don't scream…why scream, back there…" pointing to the door "is a lot of hard working businessmen who will charge down this door, looking for answers from you." then held a grin to him "I know what you're thinking ?"

Beetlejuice stared deep in the Conductors eyes. "Where did this bastard come from ?"

Then faded so slightly, just enough where the Conductor could still see…it terrified him.

Beetlejuice whispered in the Conductor's ear. "You're going to drive non-stop to Winter Raven, Connecticut or…_we're_ going to have a problem."

The Conductor said nothing and operated the train.

**Back at the Deetzes home.**

It's the middle of Monday afternoon, and Charles walks in the door. "Honey....I'm home."

Delia and Lydia are not at home.

"Hel-lo." Charles called out, looking around the living and dining room. "Barbara…Adam ?…anyone ?"

Beetlejuice appeared, back to his miniature state, floating in the air. "Get a clue Chuck, they're not here." he mumbled, then disappeared from downstairs, and re-appeared in the dollhouse.

He walked toward the Barbie-like doll. "Hi baby."

The doll just laid there.

He looked up the doll's dress…it's still not atomically correct.

"Still holdin' out on me huh."

The doll just laid there.

He laid next to it. "Oh well, I'm too tired to get busy anyway." closed his eyes, and instantly fell asleep.

* * *

**Stay tuned for Part 2 of Beetlejuice and Lydia.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Wednesday **

Beetlejuice is still in his cursed miniature state, sitting on a hard plastic pink sofa, inside the dollhouse. He leaned over to greet the barbie-like doll…but it wasn't there.

"I knew it…" breathing out a heavy sigh "she left me."

He looked over to Lydia, who's still asleep on her bed, then glanced at all four of his wrist watches.

"Six - thirty a.m."

He disappeared from the dollhouse, and re-appeared next to Lydia's alarm clock.

"Yo Lyds !"

She tossed in the pillows.

"Hey !" then whistled.

She arises from the pillows, but doesn't have her eyes open…still asleep.

"Lyds !"

In her heavily sleepy state, she slams her hand for the alarm clock snooze button, but instead hits…

"Hey damn it !"

Lydia's eyes flare open, looking over toward her ghostly friend. "Beetlejuice."

He shows a toothy grin, holding up two fingers. "C'mon…two more times."

"No."

Beetlejuice forms a look of frustration. "C'mon...I saved your Dad, gimme a chance."

Lydia remembered the news report on the local news…two men were about to rob a train, the same train her father was on, but the robbers mysteriously disappeared, and the conductor was arrested.

"You should take a chance, and trust me." He finished off.

She sighed. "I know you want something, and you won't tell me....Can't you at least give me a hint ?"

"The hint is…" Beetlejuice formed a thoughtful gaze, then returned to look at her "still the same…" forming a devilish grin "You…" pointing to her. "and me." pointing to himself.

Lydia sighed in defeat.

Beetlejuice pointed a tap to all four of his wrist watches. "You better get goin'."

She removed herself from the covers and made her bed, grabbed the school uniform out the closet, and left the room.

**Miss Shannon's School for Girls.**

In classroom one, Lydia sat at her desk studying a book of another troublesome subject…French. Learning french is a crucial part of a young lady's development, or says the founder of the school, Miss Shannon.

The teacher called Lydia's name to stand in front of the class to read aloud the French language script, written on the chalk board. She tried her best, but made several pronunciation errors…errors that earned a five point deduction, and the teacher would announce it each time.

"Lydia Deetz…please report to room twelve." The overhead intercom announced. She sighed in relief, then left the room.

In room twelve, sat the school therapist. "How are you feeling Ms, Deetz."

Lydia sat on the chair across form her. "Ok, I guess."

"How's the Prozac ?" talking about the anti-depressant medicine.

Lydia sighed, sulking in the chair with a frown. "Fine."

"You don't look fine to me…" then looked at a clipboard "it looks like you may need a change in meds."

'_You don't know what I need.' _Lydia thought, then sighed.

The therapist reached inside her briefcase, pulling out a prescription bottle. "Let's try the Zoloft…" then smiled. "eight hundred milligrams."

"Thanks." Lydia spoke in a sarcastic tone.

"Is there something you want to share ?" She clicked the pen to write.

Lydia formed a skeptical look.

"Everything we talk about is confidential."

To Lydia, she trusted the devilish grin of Beetlejuice more than the smile her therapist. "No, I don't have anything to say."

"Lydia…" the therapist leaned closer to the table. "you're getting older now, and well…" setting a white bag on the table "I think it's time you started having these." then smiled. She left for the table, heading for the door. "I wish that you would share, it's not healthy to keep things bottled up." opened the door "If you change your mind, call me." and left, closing the door behind.

Lydia stuffed the white bag her therapist gave in her skirt pocket, then left from her seat, heading toward the water cooler. She grabbed a cup of water, and swallowed the new medication…it had a strong chalky taste. "Uck." the gel caps of her previous medication were more tolerable.

Miss Shannon's school didn't have traditional school bells, she thought it was distasteful; instead the school has the chime of a grandfather clock. The clock made it's musical sound, then three chimes thought the halls…the third chime is the sound of school being dismissed…the sound of freedom.

Lydia went to the bike rack and discovered her back tire is flat….again, then a

car horn blew, gaining her attention…it's Claire Brewster.

"Like, what a total loser." smiling from the drivers seat of her cherry red convertible, then pointed her pink manicured nails over to Lydia's bike. "Aww…poor Deetz, did your fatness pop the tire ?"

She isn't fat at all; in fact, she's the same weight as Claire.

"Well Deetz, I gotta go…my small act of charity is to show my beauty, and cheer to the people of this dull little town." and drove off.

"Wait Claire !…" Bertha ran after the car with a hand full of boxes "you forgot your…." stopping to catch her breath "stuff."

"What are you doing Bertha ?" asked Lydia.

She tuned to look at her friend. "I'm selling Claire Brewster merchandise and fan club memberships." then held a proud, excited smile "She chose me as fan club president."

Lydia held a concerned look to her friend, and knew of Bertha's great desire to gain popularity. She was about to speak when Bertha's cell phone rang, and overheard Claire's loud demanding voice.

"_Prudence !…where are you ?!"_

"I'm at the sch -"

"_Get your ass over to my mansion…Now !"_

"Ok Claire, I'm coming right now." then looked to Lydia. "I gotta go, I'll talk to you later." and ran off, still carrying Claire's heavy boxes.

**Back at the Deetzes home**

Lydia walked in the house, she didn't bother calling for her parents, because Wednesday's were her night to be alone, except for…"Hi Lyds." Beetlejuice. His miniature state floated in front of her, then looked around. "Where's your folks ?"

"They went dinner and dancing."

Beetlejuice grinned. "Cool."

"I don't have homework."

continued grinning. "Cool."

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

He appeared in full normal form in front of her. "I didn't expect that."

Lydia looked away.

"Hey !" Beetlejuice called, gaining her attention. "I would like to request my reward now…" then pointed, as he walked closer to her "but _no_ backin' out, and _no _sandworms."

"And _no_ marriage." Lydia finished off.

Beetlejuice pulled Lydia toward him.

She shut her eyes, expecting him to force a kiss, but instead, felt a piece of paper being gently placed in the palm of her hand. She opened her eyes, looking directly at the paper, and unfolded it….the note is scripted in beautiful hand writing, and read the text.

"Even though I should be wavy, still I venture someplace scary, ghostly haunting I turn loose, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,…" Lydia looked to her ghostly friend, knowing this is a con, but called the name for the third time anyway "Beetlejuice."

He held a devilish grin as they became surrounded in total darkness.

* * *

**Stay tuned for Chapter 2**


	6. Chapter 6

Lydia knew this was a con, but recited the poem with his name out of curiosity. She hoped whatever the result, it wouldn't led to the destruction of Winter Raven, but maybe if it came to it, just her own demise. The living room became surrounded in total darkness as Beetlejuice's devilish laugh echoed in the distance…then she just plummeted out of nowhere.

"AHHH !!…."

Falling through darkness…falling through an olive green filled sky, and yellowish clouds.

"AHHH !!…"

Falling until her pace slowed…she panted heavily, looking around, tying to catch her bearings, and noticed that she's still in mid-air but not falling, but floating.

Beetlejuice floated a few inches below, facing her. "Hi Lyds."

"Beetlejuice !…"

He covered her mouth. "If you say it two more times, I will disappear, and you will_ fall_…" then held a grin. "and we don't want that."

Being afraid of heights, Lydia reached out to grab the chest of his trench coat. She pulled herself closer to him, and tightly closed her eyes.

Beetlejuice chuckled, then sighed lovingly "I like these close encounters."

Lydia dared to look as they flew. "I can't see anything, the clouds are so thick…" said in a panicked tone. "there could be buildings up here."

"Buildings ?…" He raised a brow. "at this height, no way…" then held a thought. "might see some airplanes though."

Her eyes widened. "Airplanes ?!" pulling herself closer to him "please get us down."

Beetlejuice used a voice of a female flight attendant. "Please buckle yourself in, you may experience some turbulence."

Lydia tighten her grip on his trench coat and shut her eyes.

He held her close as he soared through the skies…then they landed; but Lydia didn't notice, she remained tightly attached to his trench coat, with her eyes shut. He cleared his throat, gaining her attention, and continued to the voice of a female flight attendant. "Thanks for flying BJ air."

Lydia released herself from Beetlejuice's trench coat and looked around…the surrounding were grim, filled with an olive green mist. The houses were built in a abstract manner; some had a twisted construction, some looked incomplete, and some have normal construction of a normal house, but have the makings of a haunted house. Then she turned around to view the house behind Beetlejuice. It's a dark blue building with the word's 'BJ's Roadhouse' highlighted in florescent yellow letters.

"Like it ?" Beetlejuice asked.

She turned to him. "Where am I ?!"

He grinned with his arms held outward of pride. "Welcome to the land of the dead, the Netherworld."

Lydia showed a frown.

"What…whaat ?!"

She didn't say anything, just continued to frown.

"C'mon Lyds, you had a hard day…" waving her to follow him inside the house. "I'll fix you a snack or something."

Lydia inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly. She didn't know what to think, and her being at the mercy of this ghost was her fault, so there's nothing to say, and lord only knows what would happen if she said his name three times now. She sighed and followed him inside the Roadhouse.

Beetlejuice led her to a dim lit sitting area. "Make yourself comfy, I'll be back." and headed toward the kitchen.

Lydia looks around the room and noticed a fire place with different ornaments displayed on the mantel; two skulls, one on each corner of the mantel, has small dim lit glass balls held in their mouths, they appeared to be candle holders….then she looked over to the purple colored couch set, the throw pillows have a design that caught her interest, white laced design of a spider web….then looked to a dusty dark green recliner with cigarette burns all over it, and instantly knew it's Beetlejuice's chair. Then she noticed a cherry wood old fashioned radio and record player, and a book self; Lydia's love for story books drew her look at what sort of books were on the self, as she scanned through the titles, she heard a different voice yell from the kitchen.

"Beetle !"

Lydia couldn't see who it was, but knew it's a man speaking with a French accent.

"Beetle…" He yelled, then continued shouting in French.

She continued scanning the different book titles, then glanced over to see Beetlejuice standing in the sitting area doorway. He rolled his eyes as the other guy continued to yell, and gave her a can of soda; then as he turned around, heading back toward the kitchen, he yelled back, speaking in French.

Lydia turned from the bookshelf with widened shocked eyes, toward Beetlejuice's direction. "He can speak French ?" then looked at the soda can he gave her…it's a picture of a black bat with a cherry next to it. She opened the can and sniffed the contents…it's smells like normal soda; then took a small sip….it tasted normal, but couldn't quite tell; now taking the chance to drink it…"This taste just like cherry coke." holding a smile.

Beetlejuice and the other man continued arguing in French inside the kitchen. He came walked back to the sitting area.

"BJ…what's going on ?"

He frowned looking toward the door that leads to the hallway where the e kitchen is. "You sit tight so I can Bones his rent money…I'll be right back."

"But your name's on the house, why do you owe him rent ?"

Beetlejuice smiled, waving a casual hand. "Oh I put that sigh on there as a gag." then chuckled as he shrugged his shoulders "I just haven't removed it." and left the room.

She became nervous, but returned her attention to the bookshelf.

"Ooo la la…" called the French mans voice. "who is this ?"

She turned to gaze upon a tall man. He's extremely thin with melted burned fleshly skin…he looks almost like a skeleton. "AHHH !!" screaming in his face, fluttered her eyes, and fainted.

**Fifteen minutes later…**

Lydia found herself laying on a bed of silky ruby sheets and a plush purple cover. She rose up to look around the room….she spotted a silver chrome vanity with a ruby cushion stool, then looked over, and saw red and black feathered boa, draped across a sparkling red dress, and a pair of tap shoes on the floor. She walked over to examine the dress.

"Do you think I should wear black gloves or red gloves with the dress ?" asked a woman's voice from behind her.

Lydia turned around, gazing to the woman…she's short with a light green tint on her skin, long black hair, and a fully made face of make-up, but still normal; wearing a dress that's somewhat similar to Jessica Rabbit, only shorter, and tap shoes.

"The name's Ginger…what's yours ?"

She swallowed a lump in her throat and tried to answer, but couldn't.

"What's the matter…cat got your tongue ?"

She shook her head, then answered in a whisper. "I'm Lydia." and dared by curiosity to ask "Are you from New York ?" trying to identify Ginger's accent.

"I'm _was_ from Brooklyn."

Lydia covered her mouth, remembering she's now in the land of the dead, and who she's talking to is now a dead person. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend…"

"Nah…" Ginger interrupted. "It happened back in the '20's'…it is, what it is." then smiled "What's a breather kid doin' down here ?"

She sighed heavily with a worried look.

Ginger knew by the look on her face that this had to be none other than… "Beetle." and left the room.

Lydia followed behind Ginger, going down the crooked hallway until she noticed a door with Beetlejuice's name posted on it. She went inside and there he was modeling in front of a cracked mirror, wearing his trademark black and white horizontal suit.

"BJ…" she called, gaining his attention. "I…I know why you took me here…" he raised a brow as she removed a small white paper bag from her dress pocket, and give it to him.

Beetlejuice smiled, holding the bag. "Oh boy…" lightly shaking the bag "you got me a present…" smiling in thought "I wonder what it could be…" shaking the bag more "sounds pret-ty small…" looking over to her with a playful grin "Is it candy ?"

Lydia looked away and sighed heavily…she knew what was in the bag, and would've normally thrown it away.

Beetlejuice saw Lydia's right hand move across her body the same way a catholic would before praying, formed a confused look, and looked inside the bag….chuckled, and closed the bag. "Lyds…"

She held a victimized look.

"Don't look at me like that…" He reached inside the bag, pulling out a condom. " I didn't bring you here for this…"

Lydia was taken aback. "But…but you're a pervert."

Beetlejuice held a devilish grin. "Yes I am…" then formed a serious look as he floated around the room. "I may whistle a wolf call…yes, say sexual innuendo's…yes, look up a dress or down a low cut blouse…yes, and I may even cop a feel…yes, but there's one thing I will _never_ _ever_ do….and that's force myself on a woman."

"You kissed Mrs. Maitland." She pointed out.

"Kissin's different."

Lydia held a skeptical frown.

"Look…you stay locked in the can for years on end, and see how you would act." then Beetlejuice gave her a hug. "I'm not going to hurt you." she looked into his eyes…they were the only thing about him that looked alive. "Trust me."

She returned his hug, breathing a sigh of relief.

"I figure you being here would be hitting a two birds with one stone kind of deal."

Lydia looked at him, showing a grin.

"You asked me a few months back to take you to the other side, and now…here you are."

Lydia was taken aback. "That's only one bird, what the other ?"

Beetlejuice grinned. _'Sharp kid.' _he thought, and continued explaining. "I would like you to actually see why I think you understand me." then draped his arm over her shoulders. By you seeing my would, as I see yours, we can get to know each other a little more, become closer, and get to be _real_ pals…know what I'm sayin ?"

Lydia nodded.

He escorted Lydia toward his bedroom window.

She gazed upon the most beautiful thing she's ever seen.

"Those are the twin moons of the Netherworld."

Lydia sighed lovingly. "It's beautiful."

Then Beetlejuice pointed toward a door distance…a door that stood alone with no walls, no boarder, just nothing. "That's your ticket home." and gazed at all four of his wrist watches. "We better get going."

They walked to the door, and he opened it for her.

"Aren't you coming ?"

He shook his head. "I'll come back, but first…" forming a frown "I have this thing with Juno."

Lydia sighed, then gave him a hug.

"When you step inside, it looks like a chamber…climb the steps, enter that door, and you'll arrive in your bedroom…if I'm right, you may notice it's your closet door…just close it, then re-open it, and it'll be a regular closet."

She smiled as she entered the door.

"Lyds…" he called gaining her attention. "Do you think you would ever come back ?"

She held his hand "I would…" then smirked in remembrance of how she arrived "but I wouldn't recommend BJ air."

Beetlejuice chuckled.

Lydia left, closing the door behind.

* * *

**Stay tuned for chapter 7**


	7. Chapter 7

_Even though I should be wary…_

_Still I venture someplace scary…_

_Ghostly haunting I turn loose…_

_Beetlejuice._

_Beetlejuice._

_Beetlejuice._

Lydia once again arrived to a world not known to her; the world of the dead, the Netherworld. She hesitantly stepped through the chamber door, looking for Beetlejuice's house. Once she arrived, she over heard the skeleton man singing in French. Lydia didn't know what to make of him. In fact, she really didn't give him a chance; the last time they met, she screamed in his face.

Lydia peeked in the window, and watched the skeleton man mopping the floor. He appeared to be happy, but she couldn't really tell. There is really no normal face, hardily no skin, no muscle to even form a smile, but the way he is singing, even though she couldn't understand a word of French, still sounded cheerful.

"Hey…" Beetlejuice suddenly whispered, which made Lydia heavily gasp. "Whatcha peeking at ?" then looked in the window to see his boney roommate. He turned back to his new friend with an odd look. "You have a weird choice in stalking men Babes."

Before she could reply.

"You should've peeked in that window…" He pointed over to a smaller window next to the one Lydia stood from. "I was in there ten minutes ago actually taking a shower." then winked. "I would've gave you a show too."

Lydia stopped on his foot.

"Ow…shit!" He yelped in pain.

"That didn't hurt you !" She huffed.

Beetle formed a grin. "No, it made you feel better a little, didn't it ?"

Lydia couldn't help but snicker a little, after all, it was true.

"Want to see something cool ?" He asked with a smile.

Beetle walked Lydia to the garage, and inside stood a dinted green convertible. It appeared to be a fifties classic seen in one of her father's car books.

"The exterior needs work." Beetle quoted as the rear bumper fell off. " but I need a couple of spark plug and a cooler system for it to run."

Lydia awed as she over looked everything, the car has potential. "What are you going to name it ?"

"Name it ?" Beetle raised a confused brow.

"You know, just like giving a ship a title." Lydia smiled. "The Sheriff in Winter Raven names his car Betsy."

Beetle formed a thought. "Well the car before this one, was a hurst. The neighbors called it the Beetlemobile."

"Why ?" She asked.

Beetle grinned. "Because they hated it. It made too much noise, and heavy dark smoke came from the exhaust pipe." chuckling wickedly. "It made others miserable."

Lydia raised a brow. "If you like it so much, why the change ?"

"The transmission is shot to hell, and a new one ain't cheap." Beetle huffed as he looked through the tool box. "Do you see needle nose pliers on the work bench ?"

Lydia looked around, but the tools on the table she's unfamiliar with. "Ummm…"

Then she noticed what seemed to be a rust shaped nose, with a needle on the end. "Is it this one ?" she asked hesitantly.

He floated toward her to get a better look. "It is, but it's so rusted, I need a new one."

She raised a odd brow at the tool. "Why is it made like this ?"

"Some moron made that, I'm getting the goods, Living Realm brand." He proclaimed, then showed her a flier. "We're going there."

The flier has a picture of a ghostly man, wearing thick glasses with bat ears and black cape, standing next to a grey building.

_Come one, come all, to Bartholomew Batt's Department store._

Lydia grew with concern. "I'm living Beej, won't we get in trouble if others see me ?"

"Nah…" He waved casually. "There's breathers living here too, they just are sentenced to stay here."

She was taken aback. "What do you mean sentenced ?"

Beetle thought back. "Remember Round boy ?"

Lydia knew he called Otho that. "Yes."

"Well, if he fucked up any further with the Handbook bit they would have dragged him and your family straight down to Netherworld court to serve as permanent citizens, and if Chuck, DD, and Round boy refuse, they get sent to Sandworm Saturn."

"Oh." Lydia gulped. "What about me ?…I'm here illegally."

Beetlejuice grinned. "So am I….remember."

Lydia remembers what Beetle said the day the Maitland's were in trouble. She remembers every detail, it's plays in here head all the time. "I remember." She frowned.

"I'm sorry." She looked at him. "I don't mean to bring up bad memories." then he changed the subject. "C'mon Lyds, go to the store with me." She shook her shoulders. "It's only down the street."

'_Sure what the hey.' _She thought. "Ok."

************

**Batt's Department Store.**

As Beetlejuice and Lydia entered the store, the owner is seen shouting announcements with a megaphone….

"_The best in Netherworld brands, and…" _Bartholomew smiled_. "the best in Living realm brands, legal for me to sell, legal for you to buy."_

"C'mon Babes…" Beetle caught the attention of Lydia as she stared as ghostly people walked and floated throughout the store.

Lydia gasp as she accidentally bumped into a guy with a rope tightly squeezed around his neck, then noticed. "Children." She whispered to herself, as she grew sad.

Beetle is looking at some Netherworld brand spark plugs. "They want this price, gimme a break." then at some Living Realm brands. "Whoa shit, what a rip-off, it's higher than the Shocking Mall." He looked to his friend. "Hey Babes, what do you think of…." but her attention is to the children. "Lyds ?" He tapped her shoulder, gaining her attention. "What's wrong ?" looking at her expression.

"Nothing." Lydia replied, then looked in Beetle's hand. "Are those the ones you need ?"

"Nah…" Beetle frowned. "I can't afford this shit, I'm going someplace else."

They left the store to walk further down the road, a lot further in fact.

Beetle turned to Lydia with a concerned look. "Babes…" gaining her attention. "Are you sure you're ok ?"

"No I'm not ok, but I don't want to talk about it right now." Lydia replied.

Beetle nodded. "Oh…Ok." He knew better, and most importantly, he knew it wasn't him that caused this sudden sadness in her.

*******************

They arrived to large orange and purple circus tent, and came to a door. Beetle knocked on the door, and a small sliding panel opened, showing a pair of grey blue eyes.

"What's the password ?" A male voice asked from behind the door.

Beetle formed a smart ass look. "Just let me in you idiot."

The eyes squinted in disgust. "Oh, it's you." The guy spat before closing the eye panel, and then opened the door.

Lydia's eyes widened as she gazed upon the place, it was filled with old relics from the year nineteen twenty to the nineteen forties; especially things from World War II.

"Whaddaya want ?"

Lydia turned to a muscular clown with blue grey eyes, bright burgundy hair, and stood a little shorter than Beetle.

"I want the stuff on this list." Beetle replied while giving him a slip of paper.

The Clown read the contents, but an unusual scent caught his nose. "The cotton candy machine ain't suppose to be turned on today, it's Sunday." He muttered, then turned to Beetle with a whiff. "That's you…" pointing to him. "You smell like that."

But before Beetle could reply with his usual smart ass comments.

"Fruity !" The Clown finished off with a smile, then raised a brow. "I now the truth comes out…" He chucked. "even I didn't think you were like that Beetlejerk, but I guessed cha wrong." and continued chuckling.

Beetle sniffed himself….he smells like cotton candy…again. "I'm not fruity." He spat, then held his nose to the air like a rich snob. "I just used the wrong bath soap."

"You…" The Clown chuckled. "Soap…" he chuckled more. "I didn't think those words would ever come out of your mouth."

"_You_…don't think at all." Beetle spat.

The Clown huffed, then continued reading the list, and then whistled…upon the sound, another clown appeared from out of nowhere, it nearly scared Lydia to death. The other clown is taller and much more muscular than the other.

"Fuzzo…" The shorter clown called. "Get Beetlejerk his spark plugs, and engine belt."

Fuzzo nodded and floated up to the boxes in the high shelf.

The clown then set his attention on someone more interesting. "Hey Beetlejerk.." gaining his attention away from knife collection. "Who's the broad ?"

Before Beetle could respond.

"Hmm…" The clown eyed the girl with profound interest. "a breather type, very expensive." leaned to her. "Hey baby, whatever he's payin' you…" grinned lustfully. "I'll double it."

"I'm not a whore !" Lydia spat.

The Clown held his hands defensively. "Hey baby, no need to lie. I ain't no copper, and I ain't gonna rat on you; corner broads need to make money too."

"Leave her alone Scuzzo." Beetle growled. "She ain't a whore, so back off."

"Ok, ok…" Scuzzo replied with a teasing grin.

Fuzzo floated down with box that has everything on Beetle's list, including Living Realm brand spark plugs, and cooler system.

"That'll be one hundred bucks." Said Scuzzo, holding out his hand.

Beetle gave Scuzzo the money, and took the box from Fuzzo. "These better work." he looked to the clown.

Scuzzo held a insulted look. "I don't sell shitty stuff Beetlejerk."

Fuzzo opened the door for Beetle and Lydia to exit.

* * *

They walked half way down the block.

"Why did you buy from him ?…he acts like a crook." Lydia pouted. "Isn't he your enemy ?"

"That's cause he is one." Beetle replied. "His shit in truth, is better, even if most of it is illegal; besides…enemy is a strong word, Scuzzo is my rival." he smiled to her. "You have a Claire, and I have a Clown, we're in the same boat Babes."

Lydia smiled a little.

As they were walking by, Beetle pointed Lydia to a dark land in the far distance. The area is surrounded by a dark thick fog, thunder roared in in distance, and it appears it is raining. Lydia spotted what seemed to be a tall castle.

"That's my enemy." Beetle pointed to the castle with a sour frown. I hate that guy."

They walked inside the Roadhouse door, the jingle of bones quickly shut behind a door down the hall.

"I don't want to be afraid anymore." Lydia muttered to herself, but Beetlejuice heard.

"You got nothing to be afraid of Lyds." He replied.

"Why are the children down here ?…Why aren't they in heaven ?" Lydia asked.

Beetle sat her by the couch. "Oh that's why you were sad. Well let me explain, some of the kids are born as Netherworld kids, they never had a chance to live in the Living Realm, they are born a dead; and the other kids who had a chance to be born and live where you live, some are here by a fluke shot."

"Oh…" Lydia awed piecing it together, then asked about another noticeable thing. "Why aren't you wearing the ring I gave you ?"

Beetle stood from the couch. "Here, let me show you something." He lead Lydia to his bedroom to a place a large topless painting of a ghostly woman.

"Beetle !" She scolded.

"Give me a chance." Beetle grinned, then lifted the painting to reveal a wall safe. He turned the dial to unlock the secret combination, then opened the safe. Her mother's ring, the friendship ring she gave to him, laid inside a glass case, on top of a red silk pillow.

She turned to him…he smiled as he look upon it.

"I've gotten into alotta trouble, and I'm in trouble now, and since the justice system acts when it wants to, I could be taken in at anytime." Beetle then turned to her. "If and when they catch me, they'll do whatever, but the gift you gave me will always be safe here. Jacques knows the combination, I trust him, and I told him if something happens to me, to make sure you get it back."

Lydia was taken aback. "What do you mean if something happens ? You're a ghost, what more could happen ?"

"Did the Maitland's ever tell you about 'The Lost Souls Room' ?" Beetle asked.

Lydia nodded, she only over heard bits and pieces the Maitland's told her parents.

"Well there are some things worse than death, and I'll leave it at that." He finished off.

"Is Jacques, the guy with the bones ?" She asked.

"He would like to meet you, but he doesn't want to scare you." Beetle replied.

Lydia saddened, she didn't mean to be rude, but seeing a skeleton just walk around was new to her. "I won't scream, I promise. I already met Ginger, I want to meet him too."

Beetle knocked on Jacques bedroom door. He opened it hesitantly, and saw Lydia.

"Hi, my name is Lydia Deetz." She smiled.

Jacques opened the door wider.

"I'm sorry I screamed in your face the last time I saw you." She frowned. It's just that…"

He smiled a little. "It's ok petite, I have had worse greeting than that."

Lydia extended her hand for him to shake.

Jacques's right arm is detached, which was most embarrassing, but he used his left hand to hold his right arm so she could shake his right hand. "I would like to know more of you, Lydia."

Lydia smiled, a great weight has lifted off her shoulders.

**Beep…Beep…Beep** The alarm of one of Beetle's four watches went off. He gazed to a watch, in knowing which one it was. "Time for you to go Lyds."

Beetle walked with her to the chamber door.

Lydia turned to give him a hug. "Thanks Beej." and released him.

"No, Thank you. I'm glad we had a chance to hang out." He smiled. "Next time, let's do something fun."

She giggled. "Ok Beej, it's a deal."

Lydia departed from Netherworld, going back to the other side; It's not just a place she goes to bed, it's not just the Living Realm, it's a dreadful place everyone else calls reality.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Beetlejuice and Lydia**

Beetlejuice drove around the Netherworld in his newly repaired green convertible. He gazed to his watch, the time showed six o'clock, and that was usually this time Lydia would come into the realm. He rolled to her in a oh so casual way. "Hey Babes…"

"Hi Beej…" Lydia climbed into the passenger seat, and looked around. "Cool car. So did you give it a name yet ?"

Beetle shook his head. "Nope. I was hoping you'd do the honors." then he drove off.

Lydia posed in thought. "This car sounds like the dragster race cars on T.V…. How about the Dragster of Doom ?"

Beetle shook head his head. "Too long, not going to fit on the license plate."

"Doomie then." Lydia replied.

"Doomie huh…" he gave her an odd look. "I didn't think a person of your caliber would consider such a corny name for a cool convertible."

Lydia smirked. "Then you think of a name, smartass."

He chuckled. "For a person who's not interested in perversion, you sure been giving my ass a lot of attention."

"Just say a name." She rolled her eyes.

Beetle thought, then grinned. "Green…green…" then he frowned. "Hmm…I don't know…maybe we should call it the pet name you gave me."

Lydia shot him an odd look. "What pet name ?"

"Asshole." He replied, then grinned. "Of course when you call me that, it sounds much cuter."

She shook her head, rolled her eyes , then decided to change the subject. "Where are we going?"

"Juno…" Beetle rolled his eyes and formed a disgusted face in the thought of his caseworker. "says I need a job, so I'm applying for Court Jester at the Castle."

"The Castle ?" Lydia retorted. "I thought you hate that place."

Beetle gazed to her. "The place isn't the part I have a problem with, it's the person in charge…Prince Vince."

Lydia formed an odd look. "What did he do to you ?"

"Nothing." He replied. "I just hate him, that's all." then looked to her. "He's too…depressed. Maybe if he had a good lay, he'll cheer up."

Lydia formed a sour look. "Is that all you think about ?"

"No, of course not." Beetle replied, then formed a grin. "It's just one of many of my fabulous talents."

"So I guess your be giving the Prince that service too huh…" Lydia smirked.

Beetle sneered a look to her. "Ha-ha…very funny." said in a sarcastic tone.

The Castle entrance….

Beetlejuice of course cut in front of the thousand or so long line of applicants. Some stood for the Court Jester, while others stood in line for other positions.

"Hold it right there Beetle…" A hand grabbed Beetle by the back collar of his shirt. "There's a person in there right, now."

Lydia looked around. She saw the hand, but not the person or thing it belonged to.

"Hey buddy…" A voice called, gaining Beetle's attention. "The line's back there." followed by the complaining of others.

"Silence." The hand spoke. "I'm allowing Beetle to pass. The quicker he gets in, the quicker he gets out."

Beetle smirked. "You know me well hand." then he approached another desk.

"Number 79,478, 000..." The lady clerk gave Beetle a paper with the number stamped on it. "good luck." she finished in a dry tone, then looked to Lydia. "The Prince is not accepting applications for concubine this century…try again in the year 3015." then looked more carefully. "Then again…a living breed, would be a different addition to his collection."

"I'm not a whore." Lydia spat.

The female clerk shook her head. "I didn't say you were my dear. I said…Concubine, and believe me dear, they get paid so much even though the Prince doesn't touch them."

Lydia was fuming mad, then turned to Beetle. "Why does everyone mistake me as a-" she got cut off.

"It's a Netherworld thing, Babes…" Beetle began. "For some reason, women are rare here, so when they come, most guys are high stricken to pay women for se…entertainment."

Lydia frowned heavily. "Great."

Lydia and Beetle finally enter the Throne room, and as they walked toward the spot light, they saw Scuzzo, Fuzzo, Barth Batt, and even Ginger leave in defeat from the door.

"Beetlejuice and Lydia." The guard announced.

Lydia turned a wide eyed look to her ghostly friend. "You never said I was part of this act."

Beetle formed a mischievous grin. "Oosp…"

Lydia stood away from Beetle as he turned himself into a typical stage comedian, wearing a slightly open collar dress shirt, an undone bow tie, and a wrinkled tux.

"Hey Princerio….did you ever here about the chicken that crossed the road ?" Beetle began, then turned to his friend. "Tell 'em what happened to the chicken , Lyds."

"It died." Lydia replied in a dry sarcastic tone.

Beetle frowned. "Um…Oooo-kayeee…."

"Hey Beej…" Lydia began, still using a dry tone. "Knock…knock."

"Who's there ?…" Beetle smiled.

Lydia walked closer to him. "Fun."

"Fun…who ?" Beetle raised a confused brow.

"I put the Fun in Funeral." she finished off.

Beetle stepped back with a nervous chuckle, then looked to the unimpressed Prince.

Lydia stared at the Prince, everything about him screamed depressed…his blue skin, his heavy frown, and most of all…the large black cloud above his head, but other than that she thought the Prince to be handsome in a dark mysterious way…his long black hair, his large dark eyes, and the classic royal way that he's dressed. "What do you want your majesty ?"

The Prince looked to her, this stranger to the Netherworld ask him something no other has ever asked him before. "I want to be happy." he simply replied.

Lydia posed in thought. "You don't seem to like entertainment, so maybe…" she got cut off.

"On the contrary…" The Prince began. "I adore many forms of entertainment, but there is no feeling when I am forced to enjoy it alone."

Beetle folded his arms. "Misery likes company." he muttered softly.

"That's true." Lydia replied. "You need to makes friends…I know it's hard, I should know…I'm an outcast."

"Friends…" The Prince repeated. "Out of everything I have, I do not have that."

"Detain her !" The Guard shouted, then the others grabbed Lydia.

Beetle was grabbed as well, but was quickly thrown out of the castle. He looked back and posed in thought as to h e should get Lydia out. The other applicants left from the castle, then the entrance sealed shut. "Damn it."

Lydia stood in a large cage in the middle of the dining room.

"I am glad you suggested this thought of friendship, Lydia…" The Prince entered the room., walking closer to her. "Your name is Lydia, is it not ?"

"Yes." Lydia nodded her head. "Your majesty…" she called, gaining the attention of the Prince. "Please release me, this isn't how a friend is formed."

"Oh ?…" The Prince raised a brow.

Lydia banged against the cage.

"It seems to be successful thus far." He finished off, then sat at the head of the dining room table, and looked to her. "Please, join me for dinner."

The guard rolled the cage closer the table.

Lydia now stood in front of a bowl of steaming…whatever it is. "What is it ?" she asked the Prince while poking the unidentified food with a fork.

"A traditional yet exotic dish of Netherworld sweet blue snails." He replied then chewed.

Lydia gasped. "It…it certainly helps bring out your smooth blue complexion."

The Prince looked to her. "Is there something you rather have, My Lydia."

Lydia gave the Prince such a look when he referred to her as his. "I'm not your slave, your majesty."

"I never said that you were." He replied. "The slaves in my castle are actually Netherworld criminals who were sentenced to shovel the mess of my specially trained Sandworms."

"Then why am I in this cage ?" Lydia asked.

The Prince turned to her. "As my first friend, you are kept in there so I will not lose you." he replied then a small bell rung. "Fear not, My Lydia…no harm will ever come to you, and you have the best of care, and the finest appeal in all the land." he stood from his seat. "Please excuse me, but I must rest…" and walked toward the door. "Good night." then he left.

Lydia sighed in relief then was carried in the cage to her room. The room is large and filled with black and dark crimson famine lace and silk décor, and even in this odd situation, Lydia couldn't help to admit that the room look's. "Beautiful." She awed, then the cage disappeared, and the door to the room slammed shut.

A female dressed in a French maid uniform, fazed through her locked door room. "Is there anything I can get for you ?

"How about the key so I can get out of here." Lydia replied.

The maid shook her head. "If I even think about doing such a thing, they'll send me to the exorcism machine so fast, I'll make my head spin." then she escorted the living being in a chair. "How about a dish…I was told you didn't eat."

Lydia felt so defeated, and shrugged. "I would like a cheesy pepperoni pizza."

"Pizza huh…" The maid floated toward the door. "It's been a while since the Chef made normal food, and decades since he's cooked for the Living, but I know he'll try his best." she smiled.

When the Maid left, Lydia just sulked in her seat. "Why me ?"

Just then Beetle floated from outside of the window. "Hey Lyds…" he called, gaining her attention. "I'll get you out as soon as I can."

"When ?" She hissed. "The Prince might decide to make our friendship a friendship with benefits thing."

"Nah…" Beetle waved a uncaring hand. "He's not that type."

"Help me." said she urged desperately.

"I will, Lyds…" Beetle began. "but with the main gate sealed, I won't be able to use my powers at full strength, so I'll have to get creative…" then grinned. "and dirty." He stared to his best friend. "I'll be back." said exactly in Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice.

Lydia returned to her seat and sighed, then noticed the pizza on the desk. The pizza has sauce, cheese, and pepperoni in pie crust, in a pie pan. She gave it an odd stare but tasted it anyway. "Not bad." nodded to the piece on the fork. "Not bad at all."

Beetle floated outside the Castle in thought. "Hmmm…..Now how can I get in there without being detected. Hmmm…." Then the idea came to mind. "A-ha !" he snapped a finger, and formed into a blond woman with a French maid dress. "They couldn't possibly detected me if I'm as chick."

So now as Betty…she floated to the service entrance, and the guard gave her an odd stare. "Hi there…" she smiled. "I was sent by the Temp Agency as a replacement to clean."

The guard raised a brow, but allowed the strange woman to pass.

Betty floated through the dark castle. "I have no ideal where to go from here." she muttered softly to herself, then the stair case came in view. She climbed the stairs to discover a hallway with four large doors….

The first door is a room full of beautiful concubines, normally Beetle would've gave a wolf whistle, but stopped himself. "It'll be a dead give-a-way if I do that as a chick."…..

The second door is a library, and the Prince sat written one of many of his sonnets on the desk. Betty shook her head. "What a dork." she muttered softly….

The third door is the dark and blue bedroom of the Prince. "Cool." she awed at the sight of a large painting of a bleeding skull on the wall….

The forth door has "Lyds…" Betty whispered, gaining her attention, and the friend came to the door. "Are you alright ?"

"Yeah." Lydia replied, the formed a concerned look. "But how are you going to get me out ? The bars have no place to put a key."

Betty shook her head. "It's ghostly magic held by the Prince, but once he weakens…the bars will disappear, and your have a 2min window to get out, so stay by this door."

"How will he weaken ?" Lydia asked.

Betty smiled. "Only through you."

Lydia then frowned.

"Look…" Betty began. "You don't have to do anything naughty, just make him physically do stuff, like…like…" trying to think of an idea. "something in the lines of gym, or a sport."

"I don't him to get hurt." Lydia spat, then formed an idea. "I think I know."

Betty vanished.

"I wish he wouldn't just vanish like that." Lydia soured, then waved for the attention of a passing guard.

The guard stopped in front of the caged door with a raised brow.

"I would like to see the Prince please." said Lydia.

The guard vanished.

Lydia sneered to this action. "I see just vanishing is trendy here."

The Prince appeared in front of her from out of nowhere. "Yes, my Lydia."

"I thought of an activity you and I could do together." Lydia smiled.

"Oh ?…" The Prince raised a brow.

"I'm not very good at it…" Lydia admitted. "but maybe you could help me."

"And what activity do you speak of ?" The Prince questioned.

Lydia didn't know if her idea would work or not, but she gave a warm smile, and said. "Bow and arrows."

"Ah archery…" The Prince replied with a half-like smile. "I am the master in that sport, of course I will assist you."

Betty watched from afar for any sighs of weakness from the Prince, but became distracted from the sound a wolf whistle from behind her, she turned to see an old rival.

"Hey Baby…" The guy smiled, sliding his hand up her fishnet stockings.

It's Scuzzo.

"My brother's very…very …interested in you." Scuzzo gestured a hand to his tall drooling younger brother. "So am I." he formed a lustful grin. "So how about we go to my place for a little action."

"Little is right." Betty smiled. "I thought you two were girls with the logs you're packin'."

Scuzzo formed a angry look. "Listen Broad…" he got cut off by the sudden touch of Betty's hand as she slid his hand further up her dress, so far up in fact that his hand touched. "What the fuck ?"

"Mine is bigger than yours." Betty sang in a tease.

Scuzzo's mouth dropped from shock.

"You keep your mouth open like that and I might be tempted to accept the invitation." Betty grinned as she swung her unchanged male member against the clown.

"Beetle." Scuzzo frowned in disgust, then formed a very angry look.

Beetle still stood as Betty, and gave the clown a sexy stare. "Did anybody ever tell you that you look cute when you're angry ?" said in a sexy voice.

Scuzzo shook his head with such disgust and anger. "You son of a bitch."

"Thank you…" Betty smiled, kissed his forehead. "I try." then vanished.

Lydia stood with bow and arrow in hand, shot at the target, and missed it completely.

"Try aiming the arrow head just a little further this way…" The Prince guided Lydia's arms from behind her. "Now line the arrow head with your target…" he aimed it her arms and sight. "Now pull it tight, and release."

Lydia did as instructed, and the target was hit. "I got it !" she cheered.

"Well done." Said the Prince, then he changed the subject as they sat at a table. "Your plan will not succeed."

Lydia gave him an odd stare.

"Your plan to escape tonight." He finished off, then stared into her eyes. "I knew of your plan before, you requested for my attention."

Her eyes flew wide form shock, but the fact couldn't be denied. "How…how did you know ?"

"My ears are everywhere, which enables me to listen to every single plot within my castle." The Prince began. "Two of my guards are plotting to steal gold from my treasury…One of my chefs is plotting to poison me…My personal butler wants to witness me being devoured by a Sandworm…Need I say more ?"

"That's horrible." Lydia saddened. "But I…I can't be a held prisoner like this."

"My only trusted one in the castle is my advisor, and he suggest that I set you free." Vince replied then took her hand and kissed the back f it. "And I shall do just that." then he vanished.

"Wait !" Lydia shouted but the Prince was gone.

The cloud around the castle became more heavy and dark, thunder cracked, and it rained.

Beetle now formed as himself stood besides Lydia. "C'mon Lyds, his power has weakened, let's go." He grabbed her around her waist, and floated off. "C'mon Lyds, before Your Majesty starts a hurricane." they went to the car and drove away.

"I feel bad for him." Lydia looked back to the dark rainy castle.

"Nah…" Beetle swung uncaring hand. "He'll be fine, besides I'm the one who should be crying, not him."

Lydia gave him a confused stare. "Why's that ?"

"That clown squeezed my balls." Beetle frowned.

Lydia giggled. "Well maybe you should form your parts into a female when you're Betty."

Beetle gave her such a sneered stare.

"Never mind."

Beetle rolled his eyes. "Just say 'Home' three times."

"Home, Home, Home." Lydia shouted, then she appeared in her bedroom. She looked around the room, the time and everything is normal, and so sighed in relief. She looked to her vanity mirror. "Beej ?…"

Beetle appeared wearing beetle printed maroon pajamas. "What's up ?" he yarned.

"Thanks for helping me." Lydia smiled. "I…I wasn't expecting that."

Beetle grinned. "You've got to learn to trust me, Babes…I told you, I'm not going to hurt you." he yarned again. "This ghost gotta get some sleep…Night Lyds." then he vanished.

Lydia climbed into bed, and thoughts of the depressed Prince stayed in her mind. "I've got to think of something." but nothing more could be formed, she just passed out on her pillows, and laid to rest.


	9. Chapter 9

Note to the readers: I'm sorry if I took so long with this story, I didn't think it would receive so many reviews, I like it, thank you. I have been so busy with this and that, so when it came to this story, I developed writers block. I'm back to this story now so I may complete it.

**Chapter 9: Beetlejuice and Lydia**

Lydia has been sick for a couple weeks now, throwing up food while having a fever. Since her absence from school, schoolmates Bertha and Prudence come to her house, not just to drop off assignments, but to check on the strange, dark clad city girl they made as a friend.

"I'm sorry girls, but Lydia's resting at the moment. I will tell her that you stopped by." said Delia.

Prudence gave Delia a large bright colored gift bag. "All the girls from the school, and Miss. Shannon put together a care package for Lydia."

"That was very nice, I'll be sure to send a special 'Thank you' in return." Delia replied, then sent the girls on their way. "Goodbye…and Thank you."

Barbara appeared out of nowhere right behind Delia. "You didn't have to be so cold."

Delia jumped and released a scream from the surprise of Barbara's arrival. "Geez, don't do that !" she spat then cleared her throat. "I wasn't trying to be cold Barb, I know those girls mean well, I'm just worried about Lydia. How is she ?"

"I don't approve of Lydia taking morphine as a pain relief, but she's resting well." Barbara replied.

Delia never liked the doctor's suggestion about the morphine either, in fact, she hated it. "I don't know what else to do. Without some form of pain relief, Lydia will just suffer in pain constantly, and that's something I can't handle."

***Lydia's Bedroom***

Lydia laid deep asleep in a dream…a dream of the Netherworld and Beetlejuice. The Beetlejuice in her dream still wore a vertical striped black and white suit, only he wore a magenta shirt instead of a white shirt, and wore…

"What's up with the stiletto boots ?" The real Beetlejuice appeared, pointing to Lydia's dream version of him.

"I couldn't remember what kind of boot you wore." Lydia replied.

The real Beetle raised a brow. "So not only do a have the vacation shirt, you imaged me with high pointed 'Fuck me boots'…Hmmm…And…" he poked at the dream version's stomach. "I'm not that fat. And…" he pointed to the dream version's chest. "Tits !….Forreal ?…" Then raise a brow to her. "Maybe you're into pre-op transvestites, but the Beetle isn't one."

"What are you doing in my dream anyway ?" Lydia spat. "What I dream is private."

Beetle snorted. "So you want to dream of me as a fat 'fuck me boot' pre-op."

"No, I want this…." Lydia spat, then quickly dreamed of something to spite him. She made the dream version of Beetle and a dream version of his clown rival French kissing.

Beetle frowned heavily. "Oh that's just plain wrong."

"Ok…" Lydia began. "I'll make them do -"

"No, ok, shit…" Beetle stopped her, then looked to her. "I'll leave." then shook his head. "Damn, you're sick. You know that ?" then he floated toward a door. "Before I go, I just want you to know that I didn't come inside your dreams to invade. I just want to know, how you're doing ?"

"I'm still sick, but I don't know why…It must've been the pizza I ate." Lydia replied. "The pizza looked and tasted just like any other pizza, but maybe the Netherworld's food is different."

Beetle remembered about the pizza Lydia told him about, it was the same pizza she ate when captive in the Castle of Prince Vince. "It's not all that different. I'll catch up with you later Babes, you just hang tight, and… no more guy-guy dreams."

Beetle went to the castle of Prince Vince, and saw the beloved prince sitting at his desk, writing yet another sonnet.

"Hey Princerino…" Beetle appeared in front of him. "How's it hangin' ?"

The depressed Prince looked to him. "Ah Beetle, we meet again. Do you not realize that you are banned from my castle, and that your presents before me will have you sentenced to Disintegration ?"

"Yeah, yeah…" Beetle snorted. "I didn't come here this. I came for my friend, Lydia. She's been sick for the past week or so from the pizza your Chef made."

"And what am I to do ?"

"First, let's find a cure."

"Why should I assist in this ?"

"Lydia your friend Dammit, you should help. She was thinking about you, believe it or not."

"I choose. Not. You, are known as a professional liar."

"Look, I know things between you and I are…a little shaky, but Dammit I'm telling the truth, and Lydia could die."

Prince Vince looked to him. "Beetle, I am one who never lived, and will never know the feeling of being in the soles as a living being; but you cannot lead me to believe that Lydia, a living realm girl, will simply die from a stomach ache."

"The stomach was the first trigger," Beetle began. "Lydia has been having fever, and F.Y.I, Prince…living beings can die from fever."

The Prince stood from his desk. "I shall investigate this…pizza incident, and provide a cure, if there is one."

Beetle nodded. "Groovy." then faded away as he left the castle.

***BJ's Roadhouse***

Beetlejuice floated around the roadhouse also in search for a cure. "Dammit, I know I placed that book around here somewhere…"

Jacques walked into the room. As he approached Beetle, a book took a direct hit to his boney arm, which caused it to detach from the joint the shoulder and onto the ground. "Damn you Beetle, watch where you throw things !"

Beetle looked from under the couch. "Hello to you to, Frenchy." he said with a sarcastic tone, then returned to his search. "Have you seen 'The Handbook for the Recently Deceased' ?"

Jacques just shook his head. "You idiot, if it's a book you seek, it's on the bookshelf."

"Oh yeah." Beetle looked from under the couch, then walked to the book shelf. "Ah, here they are…Hmm…1798, That Jacques…1899, That's my first copy… 1905, That's my second copy…1923, That's Ginger…Where is the current one ?…"

Beetle then used his ghostly powers with a snap of his fingers to make a rollerdesk appear from out of nowhere. "Now who do I know has a current copy ?…" He thumbed through the deck. "The Maitland's…but if they see me, it's game over. Hmmm….1945, Scuzzo."

Beetle went to the circus tent and… "Bahahaha !" laughed at Scuzzo who walked into the tent with a long nose.

"Ah, fuck you Beetlejerk." Scuzzo spat.

Beetle couldn't help but laugh. "Considering you now have a dick on ya face…Bahahaha…I guess…I guess…Bahahaha…I just can't finish the…Bahahaha !…Is that what the court did to you for robbing that bank ?"

"What the hell do you want ?"

Beetle calmed his laughter just enough to explain. "I need to look at your copy of 'The Handbook'. There's a cure for my friend written in one of the chapters."

"You mean that breather broad you hang with ?" Scuzzo raised a brow.

"Yeah."

Scuzzo removed a book from his inner suit pocket. The book had dust all over it. "That's Fuzzo's copy."

Beetle raised a brow. "Is it current ?"

"Fuzzo and I died the same year you moron, yeah it's current."

"You act like I know everything about you guys." Beetle snorted.

Scuzzo sat on a chair. "I know you were ole Junebug's assistant, snooping through files, doing your blackmail thing…but you got nothin' on me."

Beetle looked from the open book in his hand. "You did the same thing…only you weren't Juno's assistant."

"I never blackmailed nobody," Scuzzo began with a smile. "I just peeked at your file, like you did mine."

Beetle looked through the book and finally located something he hoped to be a cure. He gave the book back to Scuzzo. "Well it's been fun, but I gotta go. Goodbye penis nose."

Scuzzo snorted as he gave Beetle the finger.

Beetlejuice returned to the castle. "Oh Prince-cer-rio…" he called with a playful voice. "Where are you ?…"

Prince Vince silently appeared from the darkness. "I am here."

The sudden appearance made Beetle squeak a little. "Don't do that !" he spat then spoke. "I may have a secondary cure if yours doesn't work. Did you find out about the Chef ?"

"Yes." Prince Vince soured. "It was yet another plot to poison me. Ever so often I may have a fancy for something…different. If I were to consume my newest dish and become ill, then it would be easier to accuse the food."

"What did you order the last time ?" Beetle asked.

The Prince posed in thought. "I believe it was called 'Fried Chicken'."

***Lydia's Dreamworld***

Beetle showed Prince Vince into Lydia's dream where she was dreaming freely about being in the Netherworld with dream version of Beetlejuice and Prince Vince.

The real Beetle looked to the dream version of himself and shook his head. "I can't believe she made me this fat."

"Beetle, the task at hand please." The real Prince spoke.

Beetle looked to the dream version of the Prince. "Not fair dammit," he frowned. "the dream Prince looks more royal than the real one. Humph…put's him on the high horse."

"Beetle," The real Prince spoke. "being in the dream of a young lady is an invasion."

"Ok, ok…" Beetle snorted. He planted the cure found in 'The Handbook' inside Lydia's dream…it didn't work, it was a cure for headaches, not for fever or stomach ache. "Dammit."

"Stand aside Beetle," Prince Vince spoke then removed a beaker filled dark green liquid from within his cloak. "this will cure Lydia of fever." He poured the liquid into Lydia's dream. The liquid spread through Lydia's body, until her temperature reached normal. "It is finished."

Beetle felt the disruption. "The stomach ache is still here."

"Stomach aches of the living are to be cured like all else," Vince spoke. "with rest and…what was it the Nurse said ?…Ah yes, Pepto-Bismol." He looked to Beetle. "My task is done so I will take my leave. Good day." then he vanished.

***Lydia's Bedroom***

Hours later, Lydia woke from sleep feeling new and refreshed…except from the slight discomfort of stomach cramps. She went inside the bathroom for a moment then walked back out and sat on her bed.

"Hiya." Beetle said, gaining her attention. "What's up ?"

Lydia squeaked when he appeared from out of nowhere, but she was still glad to see him. "Hi Beej." she smiled.

"Feeling better ?"

"Not really." Lydia sulked.

"Stomach still bad huh."

Lydia shook her head. "It's not the stomach, just mother nature at work." she looked to her friend. "Fade out Beej, I don't think you wanna hear this." He faded away as Lydia left to the attack to see Barbara.

"Hi honey," Barbara smiled. "I see you're feeling better."

"Not really." Lydia sulked then looked to the ghostly woman. "Mrs. Maitland, do you have any tampons ?"

***End***


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